Hi, huh, hi. Hello.
Hello, I'm Miri.
MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
Hi, I'm Miri.
Um... Shit.
Shit.
Oh, no.
Hi, I'm...
My-rie or Miri?
It's Miri. Good.
I once went bivouacking with a My-rie, and she was a lemon.
Oh, so sorry. No, it's not your fault.
Thank you.
Super. Have you ever bivouacked?
Is that an interview question?
So, your CV - it's quite gappy, as in, there's a gap in it.
It's mostly gap. In fact, it's all gap.
I think that's a matter of perspective.
It says you worked at FatFace in 2000.
Critical role. And then, nothing.
Yes.
I, um... I went... Oh, me? I went...
Travelling.
Travelling? Oh.
Yeah.
In 2000? Yes.
Until now? Mm-hm.
Where did you go?
Burma, which is now also called Myanmar.
Was that before or after they opened the borders there?
Yeah.
Which?
Yes, yes. Yes, it was, yes.
What are you wearing that for?
I like it, leave it.
You look like Guy Richie.
Fuck's sake, Carol. Oh.
Miri!
Hi.
Sweetheart.
Hello. Hello.
Hello, darling. Dad.
Let me take your bags. Get you home, hm?
How about a selfie?
Your head's not in.
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
Not now, Dad.
Uh, no, no, right. No.
We repainted the hall.
The same colour.
Yes.
Oh!
Uh, those came for you this morning.
They're from Mandy.
She's very keen to reconnect.
Oh, it's garden waste.
Right, I'm going to go and put this in my room.
Last man standing.
Thank God he's still with us.
Make yourself at home.
Well, I mean, of course, it IS your home.
SHE SIGHS
Rest in peace.
People won't think she's still a risk?
People believe what they want.
We need to give her space, as she readjusts to life in our home
and the wider community.
Are you going to keep on quoting from the bloody pamphlet?
Actually, it was on wikiHow.
PHONE BEEPS
Miri!
Oh, yeah, the phone.
Hey, this is Dom. You know what to do.
Hello, hi.
It's me. I'm just calling, uh, you, because I have got your, um...
Hi. Shit! Shit.
Not your shit, your Discman.
So, uh, anyway, I'm back.
Um, bye. It's Miri.
Oh, God, oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't see the... It's fine.
Hi, I'm, I'm Billy. Oh, hi. Uh, I'm Miri.
Are you visiting?
No. No, I'm staying.
Oh, Airbnb?
What? Are you Airbnbing?
I don't know, are you?
No, I... I live here.
Well, I'm a carer. I care for a woman.
Oh, that's a... That's a really nice job.
Yeah.
Your swing's broken. I could try and fix it, if you like.
No! No, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh, shit. No, she's, she's, she's not been well, but she's, um...
No, it's fine, it's fine.
Get away from her!
I'd love to, but I've got... GET AWAY FROM HER!
Oh, God. OK. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Hi.
You little fucker.
Sorry?
New neighbours are friendly.
We haven't really met yet.
I've got a job interview, so I'm going to go into town tomorrow.
What job? You won't recognise the place. Bloody gentrification.
It's only one shop.
Manze's was the centre of this community,
and now some arsehole's turning it into a trendy fish and chips.
We don't know he's an arsehole.
We presume.
Everyone's terrified we're going to be the next Margate.
What happened to Margate? Don't get him started.
Hipsters. Oh!
What's the job interview?
Um, it's an office cleaning firm.
And they know about you and... and your situation?
I don't know about that, they just said I should go in.
And they pay, wait for it,
£6.50 an hour, so Milky Bars are on me.
That's not even minimum wage.
Oh, OK.
Well, anyway, it's a start, isn't it? And then, after that,
I might go and see, uh, Dom.
Just, you know, catch up, say hi.
Have you spoken?
Uh, well, no, I just left him a message, so when he calls me back...
It's just, it's been a long time and you, well, you don't know
how he's going to feel now that you're back,
or how you're going to feel.
Yeah, no, that's why I'm going to wear full wedding attire.
I'm not going to wear a wedding dress! Come on, guys.
I'm not going to... I'm not going to do that.
But we were close, and, you know, he wrote to me occasionally,
and you said he always asks after me, so...
Well, yes. So I'm going to go and say hi,
if that is something that people still do, OK?
This is amazing. Thank you.
Welcome to Home Safe.
Your call is important...
I won't hold forever.
Someone's going to have to give me a straight answer.
Please continue to hold.
Bastards! What's up?
Bloody home insurance.
Apparently, it's compromised because you... Oh, I see,
because I'm so dangerous.
Does that mean I can't set fire to the house or do something terrible?
Where are the knives?
Uh, I think your mother must have done something with them.
Oh, right, cos I'm going to stab you both in your sleep?
HE SIGHS
She's probably...polishing them.
PHONE RINGS Oh.
Dom? Miri Matteson?
Yes? This is regarding your interview for the cleaner vacancy.
Oh, yes. Uh, 3, 3:15 today, yeah?
No, my colleague was mistaken.
This is a family firm.
You can clean offices in hell, you sick bitch.
DIAL TONE Amazing. Um, excellent.
Well, I will, um, I'll see you...
..I'll see you there.
I can't wait. Bye!
Right, I'm just going to... Just going to pop out.
Maybe you should check with your mother.
Yeah, or maybe it's OK, cos I'm not a kid any more.
You're absolutely right.
You're an adult now. Yeah.
SHE SIGHS
PHONE BEEPS
Dom? Oh, shit.
Sorry, I... I got a bit of a shock there.
Hi. It's, me. It's, um, Miri.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, why, why... Why are you here?
Well, to see you.
You look... You look so amazing.
Yes.
Of course, like, sorry, it's just... It's been such a long...
Wow!
Miri!
My Miri bee.
All... You're all grown up.
Oh, um, uh, sorry, I brought you this.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I, uh, borrowed it slightly longer than we said, so...
Oh, yeah, well, I forgive you, you know.
Only cos you've got nice tits.
HE CHUCKLES
Ahh.
Nice house.
Yeah.
Like, recruitment, management.
Oh, so you're not a marine biologist?
No, I never learned to swim, in the end. Oh, well.
I can't believe you're back.
Look, I don't want to, like, freak you out, but, um, I thought
about you and us a lot when I... Well, I had a lot of time.
And, um, I know, I know that we can't, like, go back...
I don't have any money.
I don't want money. OK, I already give to charity.
Charity? Yeah, could you just fuck off?
Dom! Language!
No, she's, like, one of these, um, like, like, charity bully type.
They... No, no, no, no.
Ignore my husband. No, don't...
Here you go.
Oh, no, it's, um... No, honestly, have it.
Please. Sorry.
53 minutes. But I'm still here. Please continue to hold.
I will endure. DOOR CLOSES
He's married!
Caroline. With kids. With twins!
Caroline!
Why didn't you tell me? Caroline!
What is it?
You lied to me!
It, it wasn't lying.
We omitted... Big fucking omission.
You...you said that he asked after me.
He did. And he did.
At the beginning.
You let me believe that he was thinking about me
for 18 years?
Well, he may have been.
You were so depressed and we didn't know what to do
and it made you happy.
I just went to his house, with his beautiful, very generous wife,
and I said, "You look amazing".
Amazing. Ugh, like a...
..twat!
ON THE PHONE: Hello, you're through to Bethany from Home Safe.
Thank you...
What's out there?
Eh?
Got it.
That is lovely. SHE SNIFFS
Yeah, I've had the, er, sinusitis.
First time I've had dairy all week.
I know it ain't PC, but I bloody love a bit of dairy.
Do you want, um...?
Oh, I'd love one.
But I've just finished an enormous bowl of noodles.
Right, erm, how you finding being back?
Great, yeah. All good.
And, um, how are the job interviews going?
Oh, uh, yeah, brilliant.
Uh, like, really, really positive feedback, so it's great.
Good. And how are you finding it?
Being back?
You just asked that. Did I? Yeah. Oh, sorry.
Uh, did you answer?
Yeah. Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
I'm just so full of codeine right now.
Yeah, I slipped a disc.
That and the sinusitis, well, the only thing that got me
through it was Naked And Afraid.
Have you seen that?
How could I have?
Yeah, of course you haven't.
Well, something to look forward to, I suppose.
Google it.
But do NOT Google yourself.
And listen, if you are experiencing frustration, depression,
or just a deep and consuming sense of hopelessness...
..it's normal.
Great. But I'm not, so, I mean, it's all super cool, really. So...
OK.
My ex-boyfriend has twins.
With a really, very beautiful woman.
But I am, I'm, like, completely cool about all that.
And you've got this lovely house and a lovely front garden.
You're like the Queen.
I feel like the Queen.
Do you know, it's fine, isn't it?
It's just like, just like riding a bike, really.
You've just got to get back on it, pedal.
No, Miri. You can't get back on your old bike, because that's a tricycle.
And what are you doing trying to ride a tricycle at your age?
It's broke.
Now listen, right here, right now, it's a brand-new bike.
No stabilisers.
You've got to learn to ride it for real this time, do you get me?
Yeah.
No. What?
Well, that went well.
We got a lot done.
Any questions? Got so many... Phew!
I just want to get home and lie down.
Actually, there's a really good support group in Eastbourne,
first Tuesday of every month.
I don't drive, so... Oh.
Well, it's not that great, really.
I'll see myself out. Bye!
What's up, gangsta?
Oh. Oh, thank you.
Oh...
..God!
Oh, my God, what am I doing?
This is all such a mess.
Ooh, gentle!
It's really hot down there.
This is the last time, do you understand?
She's back, Dom.
Yeah.
I'm serious!
We need to stop this.
Oh, OK. If you're...
Not now!
It is you, isn't it?
Welcome back, Miri Matteson.
Thank you. I'm so sorry, uh,
I don't remember you.
Because we only just met.
KNOCK AT THE DOOR Hello?
Just checking in. Are...
Are you OK?
No, not really.
I want a second chance, and...
..I just thought my life would be different at this age.
I thought I'd be retired
and living in the Lake District with six grandchildren by now.
What, you thought I'd have six children?
Well, on reflection, it is rather a lot.
Mm.
I thought this might help a bit.
You deserve a good shot at all of that...life stuff.
It's from the new fish and chip place.
Run by the arsehole?
Yes.
I will miss Manze's.
But like all species, we must adapt to environmental change or die.
Thank you. Thanks, Dad.
OK.
Our family is finally together...
..in one house.
Yes. Wonderful.
We've waited so long for this.
WHALE SONG PLAYS
MUSIC PLAYS
SCRUBBING NOISE
It's not coming off.
Well, what are you using? Vinegar.
Well, use white spirit.
We don't have insurance!
I'm not going to douse the whole place in lighter fuel!
TAMAGOTCHI BEEPS
CD PLAYS
Hi, I'm Miri. Mm.
Oh, God.
We cannot let her see.
You keep cleaning, I'll distract her.
Hi, I'm Miri. What's she doing?
Hello, my name is Miri.
Who's she talking to? Why aren't you cleaning?
Because you're talking to me.
I, uh, I love food and tills, if you've got a till.
Do you like people?
Mm, some people.
Some? I mean, does anyone like everyone?
Yes.
Then, I love...everybody.
Well, very good. Uh, and you're available to start...
Now. Right now.
OK. There's a whole process, I'm speaking to some other people...
Oh, my God, me too.
Totally. You've got other interviews?
Yeah. I've got Blockbuster, and then I have got Woolworths.
And then BHS!
That's very funny.
Thank you. That's good.
Woollies!
Ah, Miri, you're there.
Well, it's my room, so... Your hair!
Yeah, it's, uh... It's exactly how I wanted it to be.
Mum, can I borrow some clothes, please?
Why? Cos I've got a job interview.
Oh! Oh, lovely.
Um, so I heed to borrow something, like, work-y, cos...
Why? Mum.
We don't actually have a mobile number for you.
Oh, uh, yes. It's, uh, 07700900738.
Just one more time, sorry.
07700900259.
Am I being thick?
Yes. It's 07700900931.
That's not the same. Yes, it is.
It is. It really isn't. Yeah, it really is.
It's not. It is.
Are you OK? Yeah.
This is all I have.
Thank you.
Christ.
Great, that's...
..that's fantastic.
There's bleach, there.
I'll keep her inside.
Oh, for God's sake, Caroline, we can't keep her locked up!
Oh, she'll be fine. She's used to it.
I tidied this bloody cupboard last week.
I need to borrow your bike.
We haven't got one. Yes, you do.
Oh, that bike, yeah.
What's wrong with you?
Um... What's that on your hands?
Uh, old age.
Right, I'll see you later.
Would you like some eggs? Scrambled? Poached? Fried?
You look different. What is it?
Fine.
What did you have to say that for? What else was I supposed to say?
Focusing on the positives, your look is...
..fantastic. Oh, thank you.
But this is not going well.
Really? No, it's, um, quite a weird atmosphere.
Oh, come on. Look, why should I employ you?
Do you know what? Maybe you shouldn't.
What? No, you're right, you're right, I've got nothing to offer.
I live with my parents, the man I loved is married with two kids,
everybody in this town hates me.
But I am an exceptional worker,
and I can clean a toilet till it shines like the sun.
Matteson.
Miri Matteson.
Are you...Miranda Matteson?
THE Miranda Matteson?
Yes, I am.
Oh, shit.
Fucking cry.
Darling, just wait!
The saddle's too high, you can't...
You can't wear that, you look peculiar. It's a gentleman's bike.
Come inside and we'll find you something more suitable.
Can you just stop Fritzling me? Just let me out!
Urgh!
I can't, just...
I once ran over a badger on my way to the airport.
It broke my heart.
They're running low. Don't. Sorry.
Oh, darling.
Oh, she's going to lose... Miri, please, please don't go out there.
..Miri, please don't go out there. Miri, Miri, come back.
Oh... Oh, no.
They don't know you.
SHE SIGHS
Are you happy to start now?
Yes. Really?
Yes.
Everyone deserves a second chance,
even murderers.
It wasn't like that.
What was it like?
It was a long time ago, and...
..and I'm ready. I'm ready to move on.
# I am a terrible woman
# Have a happy Have a simple life
# Have all your friends right by your side
# During your most precious times
# I'm sorry, but I have to say goodbye
# I'm just not ready to fall... #